


Love & Lace

by pinkamour1588



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Anxiety, Cuddling & Snuggling, Dirty Talk, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fear, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Grinding, Hand Jobs, Implied Sexual Content, Insecurity, Kissing, Lace Panties, M/M, Nervousness, Panic Attacks, Panties, Panty Kink, Past Relationship(s), Post-Coital Cuddling, Romance, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-06
Updated: 2017-11-06
Packaged: 2019-01-30 11:43:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,342
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12652881
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pinkamour1588/pseuds/pinkamour1588
Summary: Jim’s discovery and acceptance of his fondness of lace and fun underwear.





	Love & Lace

The sound of footsteps coming up the stairs caused Jim to let go of the brunette in his arms and scramble out of bed.

“Hurry up,” Ally hissed at him as he picked up his clothes as fast as he could in the dark and get his pants halfway on before climbing out the window.

Jim ran as far as he could before stopping behind a tree to get dressed. He squinted in the dark as he searched for his boxers. “Shit,” he muttered realizing he’d left them behind when he could’ve sworn he picked them up. He considered going back to find out if he’d dropped them in his haste to get out of the house. It wasn’t worth the risk though so he figured he would just have to deal with walking home commando and deal with the inevitable discomfort… _or maybe not_. His hand came in contact with the lace panties she’d been wearing earlier. It was either wearing those or going commando. So, he sighed and shrugged and pulled them on.

If he was being honest with himself, they weren’t that bad. In fact, they were quite nice. A little small and his balls were hanging out a little. Brushing the thought aside, he finished getting dressed and walked home to his apartment.

***

After he exchanged the lace underwear for his boxers with Ally the next day, he felt oddly sad. He kinda liked them. Lace was incredibly sexy on Ally, or any of his hookups. But on himself…well, he liked how they felt. He told himself it was weird and wrong. That he shouldn’t like it. That he shouldn’t be tempted to swipe a pair from one of his one-night stands, no matter how tempting it was.

It took him two months before he caved. He had the day off from work so he went to the furthest city he could manage for a day trip, wanting to avoid the chance of running into someone who might know him as much as possible. When he walked into the lingerie store, he hoped the employees would ignore him while he browsed. He wasn’t so lucky. As he looked over the selection, he instantly felt overwhelmed, which didn’t help his anxiety about  _what if someone figures out they’re for me?_

“Need help finding anything?” a redheaded employee asked him.

He jumped, startled. “Uh…”

“Who’s the lucky lady?”

“My girlfriend.” Jim forced a smile, taking a quick glance at her name tag which read  _Emma_.

“Any special occasion?” Emma asked.

“Her birthday’s coming up.”

“I take it she likes lace.” She gestured toward the display Jim was standing in front of.

“Very much.”

“Any specific styles she likes?”

Jim froze. “Um, you know, I just can’t seem to remember.”

“Well, I suppose the other route to go would be what do you like seeing on her?”

“The, uh…” Jim stammered as he looked around until he saw a neon green pair of cotton briefs. “Stuff like this. Well, not this color. But the style.”

“So things that are more full coverage?” She was giving him a curious look.

“Yes.”

“Well, this is one of our most popular lace pairs,” she said as she picked up a pair of black lace panties and showed them to Jim. “What size is your girlfriend?”

“I don’t remember,” he answered, then quickly tacked on, “I think you’re about her size though,” when he noticed her studying him closely.

“Then this should be the right size,” she smiled at him as she held out the panties. “Need help with anything else? A coordinating bra? We have some great bralettes that you wouldn’t have to know her exact cup size for.”

“No, I think she already has one.”

Emma gave him a small nod before walking away. Jim hesitated in front of the display for a few minutes, then grabbed a navy-blue pair and a red pair. When he walked up to the cash register, he was quickly slipping back into a state of anxiety. Though, he was at least a little relieved by the fact Emma was the cashier. Thankfully she didn’t try to make much small talk while she rang up the underwear.

“I’m sure they will look fantastic. Remind her that they’re hand wash only. And if your girlfriend has any issues with the fit, just give me a call,” Emma smiled at him as she handed the bag along with a small card folded in half.

Jim just smiled and nodded before leaving. He shoved the bag in the storage compartment on his motorcycle and the card in his pocket, then headed home.

~

That night, he sat on his bed in just a towel looking the black lace pair over. He glanced over at where his jeans laid on the floor, noticing the card. Standing slowly, he went and picked it up. He sat back down on the bed before unfolding the card and reading what Emma had written.

_I hope you like the underwear. If you have any issues with the fit, feel free to call me. Or if you would like to add to your collection and avoid the awkwardness of today, I’m more than happy to help._

Underneath was her phone number.

Jim couldn’t decide if he was embarrassed that she had figured out who he was purchasing underwear for or if he was relieved that someone knew and wasn’t judging him for it. He put the number in his communicator and pulled the black lace on. After a few minor adjustments, he got into bed and fell asleep faster than he had in years.

***

Emma became his go to person when it came to buying panties. She’d ask him what he wanted, buy them for him, and send them to him and he would pay her back. No matter what, though, they stayed hidden, shoved under layers of clothes in his dresser. As he got more comfortable buying less conventional underwear, he began to experiment more with colors, fabrics, patterns. Some were technically women’s underwear, others were just odd men’s underwear he’d found.

And this worked great for the next three years. Then he made the impulsive decision to join Starfleet. He still bought strange underwear, but it was strictly men’s and on the very rare occasion Emma would send him a few pairs of lacy underwear when he commented to her about how one of the pairs he had ripped or were worn out. Most of all, he continued to hide them from his grumpy roommate, Leonard.

During their second year at the Academy, he and Leonard figured out that their feelings for each other were more than just friendly. As a result of their romantic relationship, Jim had to shove the lace panties further down in his dresser drawer. There was no way in hell he was going to let Leonard catch him wearing them and there was no non-weird way of having an opportunity to pause sex, change out of the lace and into a pair of boxers in the bathroom.

During the last month of the spring term, Leonard spent some time off the campus and on a ship to fulfill part of his training in an actual medbay. Jim decided he would take advantage of the fact his boyfriend would be gone a few days to get some use out of some of the panties at the bottom of his underwear drawer.

Three days after Leonard left, Jim was standing in the kitchenette wearing just a pair of blue lace panties. He wasn’t paying much attention so it wasn’t until he was startled by a low whistle that he realized he was no longer alone. Jim turned around slowly and stared at Leonard for a few moments, then bolted to the bathroom when his boyfriend took a step toward him.

“Fuck,” Jim muttered under his breath repeatedly as he locked the door and tried to not break down into a full anxiety attack. He yanked the underwear off, accidentally ripping the lace in the process.

“Jim,” Leonard said through the door.

“Be out in…” he trailed off.  Jim didn’t know how long he was going to keep himself locked in the bathroom.  _Forever? Yeah, that sounds about right._  He wrapped a towel around his waist and sank down onto the floor, twisting the lace anxiously in his hands.

“I just want to talk. Can you come out so we can talk?” Leonard asked gently.

“No.” Jim needlessly shook his head. He wanted to put off the inevitable break up and more than likely disgust from Leonard for as long as possible.

Leonard bit his bottom lip for a moment, then sighed. “Ok. I’m out here when you’re ready.”

Jim listened as Leonard’s footsteps retreated. He played every possible scenario for the conversation over in his head. Every single one ending in Leonard leaving.

After half an hour, Leonard heard the lock on the door click and looked up from his PADD, expecting the door to open. It didn’t, so he went back to reading.

Jim sat on the bathroom floor waiting for the door to open and for Leonard to start demanding they talk. But it never did. So after about twenty more minutes, he opened the door part way, just enough so that he could see Leonard was sitting on their shared bed reading. He’d changed out of his uniform and into a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt. Leonard barely even glanced up when the bathroom door opened a crack.

Over the next fifteen minutes, Jim opened the door a little more, eventually taking a deep breath and standing. When he stepped out of the bathroom, he kept his gaze focused on his feet and continued to fidget with the panties in his hand.

“Ready to talk?” Leonard asked.

Jim swallowed the lump in his throat and nodded. He listened as Leonard stood and walked over to him. He prepared himself for Leonard telling him he was disgusting, that wearing lace was wrong, that they were over and Leonard never wanted to see him again. He had prepared himself for the worst so when Leonard wrapped his arms around Jim, he jumped a little.

“Do you want me to let go?” Leonard asked.

“No.”

They stood there for a few minutes, Jim frozen in place with Leonard’s arms tightly around him. When Leonard stepped back, Jim wasn’t sure what to expect anymore. Leonard gently took the pair of lace panties from Jim’s hands and looked them over.

“Well, that’s a shame,” Leonard said thoughtfully as he poked his fingers through the hole in the lace.

“You don’t have to draw this out you know. You can just say it,” Jim said watching as Leonard continued to look over the underwear.

“What do you think I’m going to say?”

“That you think something’s wrong with me. That I’m disgusting. That you want me to leave or that you’re going to leave,” Jim whispered.

Leonard frowned and took hold of one of Jim’s hands. “You’re wrong though.”

Jim furrowed his eyebrows.

“Can you look at me?”

Jim shook his head, his heart still pounding.

“Jim, you looked beautiful.”

Jim pulled away shaking his head. “You don’t have to lie.”

“I’m not lying. Do you not wear these because you like how they feel?”

“I do,” Jim mumbled, face reddening.

“Then did you not like me calling you beautiful?”

Jim shook his head. “No. I liked it.”

“Then what’s the problem, Jim?”

Jim blinked a few times racking his brain.  _What_ was _the problem?_  “I-I guess I thought you’d think I was weird.”

“Jim, you are weird. But not because you like wearing lace underwear. You’re weird because, well, that’s just you. You’ve been that way since the moment I met you.” Leonard stepped forward and pulled him close.

Jim hesitated for a few moments, still feeling the lace panties in Leonard’s hand pressed against his back, before wrapping his arms around Leonard and resting his chin on his shoulder. Leonard tightened his hold and kissed the side of Jim’s head.

***

Neither Jim nor Leonard approached the topic of the underwear for the next three weeks. After Jim’s last final exam, he wandered back to his room to find what he initially thought was roses at first glance laying on his bed. Upon further inspection he saw that they were in fact lace underwear rolled up to look like roses. Next to it sat a card. Jim picked it up and read it.

_I thought you might need a replacement pair for the ones that got ripped. I guess I may have gotten a little carried away while shopping. I hope you like them and will wear them. –Leonard_

Jim looked back at the underwear, staring at them for a minute before carefully picking one of the pairs up and unrolling it. They were men’s underwear. Lace men’s underwear. Jim didn’t even know something like this existed.

He shook his head and took the rest of the underwear, burying it in the bottom of his underwear drawer.

***

Over the next few weeks, Jim caught the hint of disappointment in Leonard’s gaze every time he saw Jim wasn’t wearing the lace underwear. One night as Leonard got out of bed to toss the washcloths they’d used to clean up after sex in the laundry basket, he spoke up.

“Did you not like the underwear? Or did I get the wrong size?” Leonard asked keeping his back to Jim as much as possible.

“No, I liked them and they looked to be the right size.” Jim fidgeted with the edge of the bed sheet he’d pulled over himself.

“Then why haven’t you been wearing them?”

Jim was silent, keeping his gaze focused on the bed sheets.

“Jim, I didn’t cross any lines or make you feel uncomfortable when I bought them for you, right?”

“You didn’t buy them to tease me about them, right? I mean, I know you didn’t, you wouldn’t, but…do you promise you didn’t?”

“I promise that I didn’t.”

“Can you, um, bring me, uh…” Jim stammered, still unable to bring himself to look up at Leonard.

Leonard gave him an encouraging smile regardless of if Jim was looking before going to the dresser. He pulled out a pair of grey boxer briefs for himself and, after a little digging, a blue pair of the lace underwear he’d bought Jim. He pulled on his own boxers before walking over and getting into bed, setting Jim’s underwear onto the blonde’s lap and laying down. Jim stared at it for a long time before picking them up and putting them on. He promptly pulled the covers back over himself and laid down with his back to Leonard. He felt the bed shift as Leonard moved closer and wrapped his arm around Jim, kissing his shoulder.

“Do you want to know what I’m thinking?” Leonard murmured against Jim’s shoulder.

“I don’t know.”

“I think you look beautiful. If we weren’t so spent after sex tonight, I would want to go again. Maybe just give you a handjob so they wouldn’t have to come off.”

Jim whimpered and he wasn’t sure if it was because of the erection he was getting or because he wasn’t sure if Leonard was just joking around with him.

“I mean, I can still do that if you’d like.” Leonard’s fingers traced over the edges of the underwear and Jim gave off a small shudder. “Would you like me to?”

Jim nodded weakly, preparing himself for Leonard pulling away. He jumped a little when Leonard slid his hand over to Jim’s crotch and slowly palmed the growing erection.

“Alright?” Leonard asked.

“Yeah.”

Leonard trailed kisses over Jim’s shoulder as he moved his hand and slipped it under the waistband of Jim’s underwear. Jim reached down with shaking hands and pushed the underwear down enough to free his erection.

Leonard pressed his fabric covered erection against Jim as he slowly stroked Jim’s dick. After a few minutes though, he stopped and pulled his hand away, causing Jim to whimper.

“Shhh, just turn onto your back for me. I want to see your face,” he said as he pulled back far enough for Jim to roll onto his back, his eyes closed.

After pulling his own underwear down, Leonard moved closer again, wrapping his hand around Jim’s cock and pressing his own against Jim’s hip. He rutted his hips against Jim’s side in time with each stroke of Jim’s dick and kissed every inch of skin he could reach.

“You look so pretty for me, Jim. Just knowing that you’re wearing those panties. You’re beautiful, darling,” Leonard said between kisses. “Can you look at me? Can I see those pretty eyes of yours?”

Jim opened his eyes hesitantly and was met by Leonard smiling.

“You–oh–really think that?” Jim whispered breathlessly.

“Of course. I wouldn’t lie to you.”

Jim stared at him for a moment as Leonard resumed kissing Jim’s flushed skin. Then his eyes fluttered shut and he let out a whine as his dick twitched in Leonard’s hand as he came. Leonard continued murmuring endearments against Jim’s skin before groaning, coming against Jim’s hip.

After spending a few minutes catching his breath, he got up and retrieved the washcloths, quickly cleaning himself up and pulling his boxers back on. He walked over to Jim, who was still laying there panting. He pulled the covers back, gently cleaning Jim and pulling the underwear back over his dick. He dropped the used washcloth back into the laundry basket, then got back into bed, picking his PADD up off the nightstand to read. He laid next to Jim for several minutes, reading as he waited for the blonde to catch his breath and come back to himself. He was startled when he heard a small sob.

Leonard looked over to see Jim had rolled over onto his side and curled up into a ball as much as he could. He could make out a couple of tears that had run down Jim’s face in the dim lighting of the room. Letting out a soft sigh, he set his PADD back on the nightstand and moved closer to Jim, curling his body around the blonde’s and putting his arm around him.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” he asked gently, feeling Jim’s chest heave as his sobs got harder. “Did I upset you? Or hurt you?”

Jim shook his head and found Leonard’s hand that rested on his chest, curling his fingers around his wrist.

“Can you tell me what’s wrong?”

“Nothing. I’m happy,” Jim whispered between sobs, his voice shaking.

“So these are good tears?”

Jim nodded.

Leonard breathed a small sigh of relief before pressing a kiss to the base of Jim’s neck.

“Thank you,” Jim said softly fifteen minutes later.

“What for?”

Jim turned over and shifted around until he was nose to nose with Leonard. “For not judging me. Not thinking I’m weird because I like wearing lace underwear.”

“If you’re weird for liking to wear lace underwear, then I’m weird for liking you in lace underwear. And, honestly, after all the other underwear I’ve seen you wear, some of which I still question on whether it can be classified as underwear, lace is tame.”

Jim blinked slowly, sniffling before giving Leonard a small smile. “I have some others. Not like these. They’re like the ones you first saw me in,” he said shyly.

“Will you show me them sometime?” he asked tracing his fingers over Jim’s back.

Jim’s face lit up and he nodded excitedly. “Do you want to right now or…”

“No, right now I’m tired and just want to do this. Soon though. I can’t wait to see them.” He held onto Jim tightly, pressing a quick kiss to his lips.

Jim settled more comfortably against Leonard, closing his eyes and sighing softly as he quickly dozed off to the feeling of lace and Leonard’s arm securely around him.

**Author's Note:**

> Come say hi on [tumblr](http://pinkamour1588.tumblr.com)


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